Jeitos curiosos de morrer

Estava zanzando pela Wikipedia, não me lembro mais porque. Em cada assunto eles destacam alguns links, que te levam a assuntos relacionados. E vc vai clicando, clicando, até se perder...
Enfim, acabei numa página que lista várias mortes estranhas, desde a antigüidade. Tem umas muito engraçadas, outras muito loucas, outras macabras. Vou colar algumas delas aqui.


207 BC: Chrysippus, a Greek stoic philosopher, is believed to have died of laughter after watching his drunken donkey attempt to eat figs. (hehe)

1327: Edward II of England, after being deposed and imprisoned by his Queen consort Isabella and her lover Roger Mortimer, was rumored to have been murdered by having a red-hot iron inserted into his anus. (cara, alguma coisa de muito ruim ele deve ter feito para ela!)

1559: King Henry II of France was killed during a stunt knight's jousting match, when his helmet's soft golden grille gave way to a broken lancetip which pierced his eye and entered his brain. (vai fazer elmo fashion, de ouro, dá nisso)

1671: François Vatel, chef to Louis XIV, committed suicide because his seafood order was late and he couldn't stand the shame of a postponed meal. His body was discovered by an aide, sent to tell him of the arrival of the fish. (precipitou-se, o rapaz. Mas também, já pensou ficar na mira do Luís XIV? Melhor se matar mesmo)

1923: Frank Hayes, jockey, suffered a heart attack during a horse race. The horse, Sweet Kiss, went on to finish first, making Hayes the only deceased jockey to win a race. (ou seja, as corridas podiam muito bem ser apenas com os cavalos)

1834: David Douglas, Scottish botanist, fell into a pit trap accompanied by a bull. He was mauled and possibly crushed. (sem comentários)

1943: Critic Alexander Woollcott suffered a fatal heart attack during an on-air discussion about Adolf Hitler. (se um dia eu tiver um ataque cardíaco, já se sabe: ou foi minha mãe ou o Leandro)

1960: Baritone Leonard Warren collapsed on the stage of the New York Metropolitan Opera of a major stroke during a performance of La forza del destino. The last line he sang was "¿Morir? Tremenda cosa." (foi tirar barato...)

1990: George Allen, an American football coach, died a month after some of his players gave him a Gatorade Shower following a victory (as it is tradition in American Football). Some argue this resulted in pneumonia. (eu acho que deve ter sido a quantidade de corante)

2005: Kenneth Pinyan of Seattle died of acute peritonitis after submitting to anal intercourse with a stallion in the town of Enumclaw, Washington. Pinyan had done this before, and he delayed his visit to the hospital for several hours out of reluctance for official cognizance. The case led to the criminalization of bestiality in Washington. His story was recounted in the 2007 documentary film Zoo. (esse se fudeu, literal e figurativamente. Morrer dessa forma indigna e ainda ter o fato eternizado em documentário... Putz. Eu me matava. Ahn, peraí...)

2005: 28-year-old Korean video game addict Lee Seung Seop collapsed in an Internet cafe after playing Starcraft for almost 50 consecutive hours. (viu? Videogame faz mal mesmo!)

2006: Mariesa Weber, a 5'3" Florida woman, fell behind a 6' tall bookcase in her family's home and suffocated. She was not discovered for 11 days; her family thought she had been kidnapped. (uma vez eu soube de um caso de uma família que perdeu um hamster assim. Eles descobriram o cadáver embaixo da geladeira 3 dias depois. Por causa do FEDOR. Helloooo-oooo, gente porca!)

2007: Jennifer Strange, a 28-year-old woman from Sacramento, died of water intoxication while trying to win a Nintendo Wii in a KDND 107.9 "The End" radio station's "Hold Your Wee for a Wii" contest, which involved drinking large quantities of water without urinating. (viu? Videogame faz mal mesmo! [2])